


Curiosity, Satisfaction, and Chocolate Cake

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Feels Like Heaven [32]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, F/M, Humor, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 03:06:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6887023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Are you going to leave?” she asked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Curiosity, Satisfaction, and Chocolate Cake

“Thank you, Laurie.” Ed smiled as the server placed the large slice of double chocolate mousse cake with extra whipped cream in front of him.

“You're welcome.”

She also placed Liv’s brownie sundae on the table and refilled her coffee. Liv smiled, nodding thanks.

“If you need anything else, just holler.”

The waitress walked away and Liv watched her go. Then she focused her attention on Ed. He looked at the slice of cake like a kid looked at a present on Christmas morning. It was pretty big; he asked for it big. And Laurie, who had been earning her tip all evening, was happy to oblige. 

Liv watched the smile spread across his face while she added cream and sugar to her coffee. At least it was half-caff so she wouldn’t be up all night. Café Café was only a half-mile from her apartment. She and Ed came there a few times a month for dessert and coffee. It was becoming one of their little rituals as a couple and Liv loved it. 

She enjoyed dessert, most people did, but with Ed it had become an experience. They would come on a Thursday, when Trevor was looking after Noah, or a Sunday afternoon with the toddler in tow. There was just one rule…no talking about work. They would discuss baseball, vacation spots, a movie they both wanted to see, or articles from the New Yorker. Occasionally, Liv would go off on a tangent about history or Ed would opine about all the best spots to hit on a cross country drive. It was just a relaxing time and they both looked forward to it.

“You’ve been quiet tonight.” Ed said, sliding his fork into the confection. “Is something wrong?”

“Well I did want to talk about something but wasn’t sure how to bring it up. I guess it’s been weighing on my mind.”

“What's wrong, Livvie?”

She smiled a little when he called her that ridiculous nickname that she also happened to love. Sighing, Liv sipped her coffee and then started eating her own dessert. She didn’t want the ice cream melting everywhere; the brownies were nice and hot.

“About a week ago you had gone into Noah’s room to sing bedtime songs and I was out in the living room with a glass of wine. Your tablet was on the coffee table…your glasses sat on top of it. I tried not to, I was so damn curious and I don’t even know why. So I looked at what you were doing. I'm sorry Ed; I can't even explain why I had to know. It’s not that I don’t trust you and I wasn’t assuming that you were talking with another woman or anything like that. It was a compulsion or something and I'm sorry.”

“And it’s been eating at you ever since.” Ed said.

“Yes.” Liv sighed. “I just tried to put it away and stop thinking about it but it was driving me crazy. I don’t know why I did it and you can't unsee something once you see it.”

“Well what did you see Liv? I wasn’t doing anything.”

“You were looking at houses…in Brooklyn.”

“Oh.” Ed nodded. “I was looking at houses in Manhattan too, if you must know. The prices are ridiculous. I don’t know how anyone can afford to live in this city. $23,000 a month mortgage!? That’s something out of a Dominick Dunne novel. I can't imagine anyone having that kind of money except George Clooney. I was appalled.”

“Are you mad at me?” Liv asked.

“A little bit.” He drank his coffee. “But it’s nothing to write home about. You know the rules and you broke them. But I also know I'm not doing anything so all you saw was some house listings. At the same time, I want to discourage this behavior…I don’t want to be spied on.”

“I don’t spy on you, Ed.” Liv shook her head. “I don’t know what I was thinking and I'm really sorry. But I can say with certainty that I didn’t do it because I thought you were hiding something from me.”

“I'm an open book, Liv. If you want to know just ask. I know that you’ve had a couple of relationships in the past where trust was an issue. I don’t want it to be that way for us. I trust you and you can trust me. 

“I love you, and only want to be with you. I have some female friends; you know all of their names. I'm not cheating or running around. And there is nothing on my tablet or phone that would be cause for concern. I appreciate you being honest with me about it. I hope it kept you up a night or two though.” He smiled at that last part and went back to his cake.

“Are you going to leave?” she asked.

“I don’t understand the question.”

“You were house hunting, Ed. Are you going to leave me and Noah?”

“No!” he closed his eyes knowing he spoke too quickly and too loudly. Ed took a deep breath and reached over for Liv’s hand. “I was looking at houses for us, baby. Noah’s growing up and he deserves a backyard for a soccer goal or a swing set. 

“I was thinking about maybe a gas grill for the deck out back and a porch swing out front. Your condo is great but houses are nice too. And it just crossed my mind one day; all I was doing was looking. I'm not going anywhere. If I do, you're coming with me.”

“I thought you might be looking for a way to end it and didn’t know how to say.” Liv couldn’t look in his eyes when she said it. 

Despite not having the most successful run at relationships, it had been a while since she’d been dumped. Nothing in her mind said that she and Ed were heading in that direction but when she saw those Zillow pages, her heart sank. Liv remembered how things started to slip downhill when she and Brian moved in together. It seemed like the right idea at the time but that quickly changed. Everything changed. 

She would've never asked Ed to move in with her and Noah if there was any indication that this thing was on its last leg. On the contrary, Liv was sometimes letting herself think of the future. It looked like Ed was as well. His was just a little different from hers. That was OK, the couple had become really good at compromising.

“If that’s what I wanted then I would be as honest with you as I've always been. But I'm very happy, with you Olivia. I love waking up in the morning with your arms around me. I love being a father to Noah even though fatherhood at this age hadn’t crossed my mind. 

“I love our dessert nights and our marathon texts when one of us is working late. I love you, always, even when you're impulsively looking through my electronic devices. I can't stop you from worrying about things when it comes to our relationship, but I can be here. I'm exactly where I want to be.”

He squeezed Olivia’s hand before focusing again on his dessert. Ed thought now might be a good time to put some passwords on his phone and tablet. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Liv or that he had anything to hide. But he did like his privacy and preferred to protect himself from her once in a while impulses. Ed didn’t think she would be a better liar about it, and he was kind of glad about that. Still, there was no use in her having any sleepless nights about the small stuff. If he could stop that from happening while at the same time keeping some privacy then it was a win-win situation.

“I just want to apologize one more time.” Liv said. “I love you too, and I don’t want to lose this thing we have because it’s been wonderful. I don’t want to lose you, not just this, Ed…you, in particular.”

“You're not.”

“Do you promise?”

“Well if you married me it would cost more for me to walk away. Do you want to do that?”

“That’s not funny.” Liv balled up a napkin and threw it at him.

“I'm not being funny. Well, maybe I am but I'm also being logical. Do you know how much a divorce costs, even an uncontested one?”

“I can imagine it must be pricy. I've seen some divorce lawyers’ condos. I bet they wouldn’t have to worry about $23,000 a month mortgages. I'm not going to marry you so it'll be harder to leave.”

“You could do it because I'm in love with you.” Ed had a mouthful of chocolate cake.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, honey.”

“Sorry.” He swallowed and drank some coffee. “You can do it because I'm in love with you.”

“Are you asking me to marry you?” Liv tried to take a breath but couldn’t really. Was this happening? She never saw this happening. OK, a lie, she kinda thought about it happening and how she might react when it did but definitely didn’t see it coming tonight. Was this actually happening?

“I'm just saying that I'm ready when you are. I'm not going anywhere, I think you know that deep down, but if marriage makes you feel more secure and happy then it'll do the same for me. Because we’re ride or die, Olivia. Did I say that right? Sean says it all the time and I think I'm saying it right.”

“You said it right.” She nodded. “Ride or die.”

“Absolutely. Do you want to get the check?” he asked.

“In a minute. I just want to have a little quiet, enjoy my dessert, and feel all mushy on the inside.”

“Mushy, huh?” Ed looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

She just smiled and ate her dessert. So much could happen in a year, Liv knew that all too well. But it had been longer than that. He asked her for that first drink and she said yes. It was months later that she asked him out on the first date, he said yes. 

They'd been saying yes to each other ever since. Liv wanted to keep doing that and as soon as Ed got it into his mind to propose, she absolutely would. Maybe if he took too long, Liv might just ask herself. They didn’t need to follow traditions to the letter. So far, going with their own flow had proven to be a success. There was little reason to mess with their perfection.

“There is one thing we have to discuss. You broke one of the rules.”

“I know, and…”

“With that comes consequences.” Ed said, trying not to smile. He put his tongue inside of his cheek.

“Well,” Liv lowered her voice. “If I have to get a spanking when we get home, I’ll take it like a woman.”

“I think that would be a fair consequence. I’ll be firm but always fair.”

“Thank you, Captain.”

“You can thank me afterward.” He held up his hand to get Laurie’s attention. “We’re going to need the check now.”

***


End file.
